Relive some of the most epic battles from the Lord of the Rings trilogy by taking up the Wiimote sword and guiding Aragorn to victory!  That’s right; Aragorn is getting his own game.  Who needs dwarfs and elves when you got a sword and a horse?

Publisher/Developer: Warner Bros. / Torus Games
Platform: Nintendo DS/DSi
Genre: Mystery/Fighting
Cost: $29.99
Verdict: Great game to keep in your collection for light-hearted goodness
Pros: Totally replayable; great graphics
Cons: Can’t save in the middle of levels

As I struggled with the slippery, tight shrink wrap, I wondered what I’d gotten myself into this time. Scooby-Doo was my grade school nemesis. I NEVER managed to the guess the bad guy correctly, I hated Velama’s glasses, Fred was a moron, and Scrappy needed to be stepped on; or punched. In fact, about the only good thing I could note from Scooby-Doo was Daphne. And that’s cause she’s a redhead like me! So the question weighed in my mind; Why did I agree to do this review? After the first chapter, I had my answer.

The game starts off in the clubhouse with the gang. They’re all prepubescent kiddos at this point. At first, they’re on edge due to not having eaten recently. So Velma brings news of a castle with an eating competition. Unfortunately, Daphne’s cousin is in trouble at St. Louis High: she’s trying to win the talent competition and needs help. The gang uses the state’s largest cafeteria as a lure to get the digestively inclined Shaggy and Scooby to agree to going there first. This first cut scene sets the game up for at least two fo the upcoming four episodes.

Each episode has a few levels, a chase scene, and a boss fight. True to Scooby style, you seek clues using each of the characters’ special skills, Shaggy and Scooby get chased down a crazy corridor, then the gang fights the bad guy and Shaggy and Scooby manage to accidentally finish them off for the unveiling. You have to use the clues to infer who the culprit is and receive your reward. Four episodes in all make for a very entertaining game, with lots of extra motivations for playing and replaying such as trophies (very much like achievements on the 360), costumes, and playable monsters. Money is in the form of none other than Scooby Snacks, of course!

While playing, players have no control over which two characters they are able to play with in any given scene, which is a bummer. However, players are encouraged to switch between the two playable characters that ARE in each scene. Shaggy uses a sling shot for a ranged attack and can swing with a grappling hook. Fred uses little bomb/firecracker type explosives and can push heavy objects. Velma uses books to throw and has the ability to deal with whatever computer processes that become necessary. I will note here that when Velma uses the computer, you should be ready with your stylus to press the buttons on the bottom of the screen that change color. This is how she manipulates the controls. She’s using you… I always knew she was devious behind those huge glasses! Daphne uses Karate to kick major butt but is also able to shimmy up/across/down any pipes that you come across with a purple glow. Finally, Scooby swings sausage links and can take any of the several doggie doors in the game.

Now let’s talk technically for a minute. The layout of the game is great. You can have three profiles at a time. Within each profile, you have the option of going to the episodes, joining an online game (more on that in a minute), checking out and purchasing rewards that you’ve earned, and extras (which include options, codes for cheats, and credits). As I mentioned before, there are four episodes. You must beat each in order to unlock the next. The levels within the episodes don’t appear until the preceding one is finished. Once you’ve unlocked any given level or episode for that profile, you can replay it whenever you want in explore mode. In this mode, you can switch between characters as many times as you’d like, playing whomever you choose. You can also choose to dress them up in the costumes you can purchase. Replay ability is very high on this game because of all the little extras they give you. People who like to get all of the hidden goodies can play for that purpose alone in this game.

The graphics are super sweet. The cut scenes are very well animated, and I love the “camera” angles they use to show the scenes. They aren’t excessive or too sparse and they are very relevant to what is going on, which I appreciated while trying to get through the game. I also liked that since you can’t leave the level before you finish it without having to start over (the only thing I don’t like about this game), I can at least skip the cut scenes and get right to the action when need be. As far as in game graphics, I thought they were great too with two exceptions. First, when the characters are right up to the screen, they have only little dots for eyes. Actually, I didn’t think this was bad, but entirely amusing. I paused to laugh at the difference between the amazing cut scene graphics and the drawings on the screen that were reminiscent of my five year old’s artwork. Secondly, I had a hard time with the depth perception in this game. I found it hard at times to figure out why I was falling off the end of the bridge, etc. After a while, you get used to it, but there were certain levels that were made more difficult by the awkward camera angles of game play (which you can’t control).

I love the eerie music as well. The sounds vary a lot, which I definitely appreciate, and the bad guys make distinctive sounds which alerted me to their presence on more than one occasion. Another thing that was very exciting to me (strangely enough given my previous experience with the cartoon) was the presence of some of the original voices. Fred, Shaggy, and Scooby seemed to be the original voice actors. Velma sounded like the mom from That 70’s Show (though I don’t think she actually was) and I really like that actress’s voice as it’s very distinctive. The gang talks to each other through out the game, and they even say clever things while fighting; sometimes vocalized, sometimes just written.

There is a two player mode which I was unable to play for the review. What I do know, is that you can join in with someone else who is playing on their DS. You can beat up the bad guys and search for clues together in explore mode or story mode. The great thing about this multi-player option is that a player can drop out while the other continues uninterrupted. A feature that would improve several games I can think of at the moment.

After playing the game, I have a newfound respect for Mystery Inc. It’s a fun game, well written storyline that is relevant to the game and true to the original premise of the show, and has all kinds of little surprises. Sufficiently creepy, this Scooby-Doo can be enjoyed by the new fans, or old; not that I’m calling you old. Okay. I was actually, and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you pesky kids and your dog!

“I’m 20 minutes into Terminator: Salvation the video game and I’ve hit 5, no make that 6, loading screens. I have also earned 160 gamer points. Please, make it stop.”

- Violent handwriting scrawled into my composition notebook whilst playing Terminator: Salvation the video game. July 5th, 2009 12:45 A.M

Warner Bros. Interactive is having a particularly rough year between this game, “Watchmen: The End is Nigh” and “Wanted.” One could hope they could turn out a quality product once in awhile. Alas, “once” might be asking too much. As if the the Sci-Fi/Action loving crowd didn’t suffer enough when James Cameron pawned his Terminator franchise to Carolco, Terminator: Salvation just had to be made as a lackluster movie and depicable video game. There are moments when I feel truly lucky to be able to play games for free and wax poetically about them. This is not one of those moments. I have had little internal seizures everytime the words “Predator” “Aliens” and “Terminator” are paired with “video game” since 1991; After playing Terminator: Salvation, I died a little more inside.

“It’s Not a Tooomah!”

To say that Terminator: Salvation The Video Game is an abomination is a bit dramatic, but it is safe to say that in no way should anyone rent, own or glance at this game for fear of lowering their IQs, losing bodily functions and possibly turning to stone. The game was developed by GRIN Studios, published by Evolved Games, co-published by Equity Games, licensed by Halcyon Games and distributed by Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment. I have listed all of the corporations responsible because they should all be petitioned or sued so that they will STOP MAKING GAMES. You would think I’d try to go easy on GRIN for releasing such a unkempt and disrespectful use of the Terminator license, seeing as they’re shit-canning 100+ employees after the “success” of Bionic Commando, Wanted and (sigh) this game…. No effin’ way.

“No, Really…Don’t Hold Back.”

Imagine if Gears of War was made out of Lincoln Logs and Duplo blocks with story and dialogue written by a 3rd grade student. Insert voices of borderline A-list talent and blend with 4 types of robots from McG’s similarly titled box office bomb and press “Puree”. What results is one of the most embarrassing major console releases I have ever played. Looney Tunes Acme Arsenal, eat your heart out.

Terminator: Salvation pits you as a lifeless husk John Connor, who decides instead of going home on a helicopter, he’d rather run through a robot infested maze and rescue three dudes he’s never met from the depths of a Skynet manufacturing plant. The press release has more chutzpah in the game’s original description from 2008 than the actual game itself. I will allow them the honor of explaining the game I supposedly played:

(I have added the harsh realities in parentheses)

“Terminator: Salvation the video game offers (forces) players the chance to assume the role of John Connor (sans Bale), a soldier in the resistance, battling for survival against the far superior (future scrapmetal) forces of Skynet. Common reprises his film role as Barnes, a (not so-) humorous ex-football player who manages to crack jokes (never) while battling an army of relentless Terminators (sometimes). Moon Bloodgood returns to her role as Blair Williams, the confident and attractive (scary looking) resistance soldier who thinks Connor should step up as a leader and isn’t afraid to call him on it (never says anything of the sort). Rose McGowan joins the team to voice a role that is exclusive to the game. McGowan plays Angie Salter, a fatalistic ex-elementary school teacher who’s still not adjusted to the harsh realities of war (That actually is true. Though they never mention she was a teacher. LIARS!!!).”

Actually, Rose McGowan spent most of the game repeating the line “Don’t come near me.” as if I were guilty of some atrocious crime in-game as well. Its safe to say I understood her.

“John, Close Your Eyes…”

Visually, the game is….hurlblarrrrgggggh. Excuse me. As I was saying: The visuals are foggy, poorly rendered and so painful to look upon that I have inundated myself with cuddly images like the one below just to get the vicious polygonal alignments out of my already deflating brain.

The “story” and dialogue just increase the urge to destroy the television with a claw hammer. With major time leaps, missing plot points (How exactly did I get to that Harvester?) and innumerable load screens, there is hardly any game here at all. Everyone involved with this project must have called in sick 5 days a week- from the directors to the level designers to the cast ( I’m not afraid to flick off the Swedes who are credited with most of the work) nothing has been cared for in the production of this “game”. There were, however, a few fleeting moments where I saw things that some environment modeler/ artist had put some love into, but then never got paid and finally gave up. And speaking of cheap: Apparently the engine they built it on can only handle a block of gameplay no more than 7 minutes long before you get a crummy, screen-tearing cgi cartoon and another loading screen. I’m not kidding. I clocked the average in game time at just over 4 minutes before hitting a load screen. You will never want to see another T600 skull ever again.

The cover to cover system and gunfire work surprisingly well for a game that clunkers so much. The entire controller isn’t even mapped out. (This is a 3rd person shooter and there’s empty buttons? What is this? 1996?!?) You can’t really run, you just kinda saunter hence you get pulverized with bullets anytime you stick your head out. The health system has a mind of its own, deciding when it wants to refill after game-triggering events, leaving the player in the dark as to when they can breathe again.  The weapon HUD is obtrusive and the lack of ammo is increasingly frustrating as there are guns lying simply everywhere. As if that weren’t bad enough, leave it to the squad AI (as in: The invincible NPCs that follow you around) and repetitive enemies to drain all the remaining life out of the game. You will only fight four types of enemies: Wasps, Spiders, T600s and Hunter Killers. All have weak points, especially if you have explosives. Once you figure out how the robots can be destroyed quickly, you can earn 720 gamer points in 3 hours for the 360, or a multitude of Trophies on the PS3. So for all you gamerscore addicts, this game is a must.

There. I said it. I have finally “officially” endorsed this game, albeit to a very narrow demographic.

If you have reached this line, I must thank you. To think that you might have read or skimmed this article shows you’re a firm believer in exploratory journalism or that you’re a bulletproof fanboy here to terminate me in the comments section. Either way, I’m just glad its all over. Gameplay itself isn’t terrible, were it a $5 game. But its a $60 game and there isn’t an excuse in the world that justifies buying it let alone renting it. Remember: Don’t  think about this game. Ever. Again.

Anyone who has followed video game news over the last 10 years knows that Midway has dramatically fallen from grace.  The onetime publisher of such great games as NFL Blitz, NBA Jam, Rampage and of course Mortal Kombat, has seen exponentially diminishing returns with each console generation.  After several original IP’s such as Stranglehold and The Wheelman failed to pan out, it became apparent that the beginning of the end was upon the once storied publisher.  This became even more evident, when it was announced that Midway has posted a $191 million dollar loss over the course of 2008.

In order to prevent the inevitability of the company folding, they filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in February of 2009.  It was at about this time that rumors began to circulate, mentioning a potential sale of at least a portion of the company.  Those suspicions came to fruition in late May, when Warner Bros. announced their intentions to purchase the company for a mere $33 million dollars. Even more unfortunate was the fact that Warner only wanted part of Midway.  This portion of the company consisted of the Mortal Kombat franchise (of course!), and two of Midway’s four development studios.

Until yesterday afternoon this had been nothing more than an idle offer, but after a brief public auction and a single judgment, this potential acquisition became very real.  On Tuesday, courts officially approved the Warner Bros. purchase of Midway, stating that the official date of transfer will be determined within the next ten days.

Unfortunately, this leaves two studios that had once been under the wing of Midway, in limbo.  Reps for the company have said that both teams have been given sixty days notice.  If they are not purchased by another publisher within this time frame, they will be forced to close up shop for good.  It looks as though they too may become casualties of the declining economy.

Once all of the dust has settled, only one real question remains: Who will be developing the next Mortal Kombat?