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We just wanted to take a moment, during our busy BBQ-eating, beer-imbibing, explosive-handling day to wish you all a Happy Fourth Of July. You can see in the image above a few of the tasty gaming gems we’ll be playing this weekend, if we ever get enough time in front of the TV. What will YOU be playing this long, hot weekend?
For those of you who were around when Madballs invaded your television as well as your toybox, surely you have fond memories of both the cartoon and the toys. If you fall into this group of gamers, these next two images are sure to bring you back to a place long forgotten in your childhood. So enjoy this trip down memory lane, brought to you by Playbrains.
The cartoon was amazing (when I was a kid), the toys were fun to play with (who doesn’t like playing with their balls?), and the video game should be just as entertaining. We can’t wait to get our hands on the long lost Madballs franchise again.
The PS3 is a competent media center. While I think using the PS3 as a streaming media hub is denying the brilliance of the actual system, Sony could go one further with the support of the PS3 as the replacement media center for many gamers and their family.
I watch most of my DVDs, two Blu-rays discs, and other assorted videos on my PlayStation 3. I haven’t found the codec support to be an issue because most people who post videos recode the videos for PS3 support.
One single issue I wish Sony would address is the support for subtitle files. SRT, ASS, and IDX/SUB files are the backbone of fansubbers for television shows, dramas, and comedies. Most of these shows will never get released in the United States and even when they are released in their original country on DVD or Blu-ray, English is not always one of the options.
I wonder how Sony could program the PlayStation 3 to recognize these files. It shouldn’t be that difficult to recognize what is essentially a word file with timed entries inside it. I’m a little tired of hooking up my laptop through S-video and my headphone jack to my surround sound. But with the existence of Blu-ray and the region coding revised; this problem may fall to the side.
But with Sony’s ten year plan for the PS3, wouldn’t it be nice to see the system utilize everything it’s capable of?
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Episode Two brings Double Jump back with a new host, cast discussion of E3 announcements, the RETURN of the EvilCast, and a very cool contest.
This Cast of Evil will answer the time-honored question, “What was the lamest E3 announcement?”
Conversation with Rob, Carter, & Liz about E3 and the big 3.
And last but not least a competition for Sacred 2:Fallen Angel for PC, the Collector’s Edition. Listen to the very end and name that tune to win!
Music in the podcast:
E3 09, Nintendo Wii, PC Gaming, Playstation 3, Xbox 360
EA got off to rather a false start after a forgettable Dante’s Inferno trailer and a shout out to EA’s shareholders regarding The Sims 3 and it’s release tomorrow. Certainly not top-loaded, the conference continued in the same fashion with an overly long presentation of EA’s Games 4 Girls which included, first and foremost, Littlest Pet Shop Online. If you’ve ever wondered how many times somebody over 30 can say “girls” in 5 minutes, then here’s the place to look – as EA spokespeople try to market videogames to girls… in front of nerds and journalists. The temptation of “lovable pets” and “kibble coins” is certainly alluring to this journalist’s ears, but I couldn’t help but wonder why they were showing such a game at the beginning of the world’s largest videogame press event when there are surely better titles to market to these hardcore gamers.
Continuing in the fashion of ‘Littlest Pet Shop Online’, EA finished getting the worst out of the way with Charm Girls Club, which offers “everything that’s great being a girl” such as “pajama parties” and “designing your dream prom.” The woman describing the game seems strikingly similar in her presentation to a certain something I’ve seen elsewhere.
After time passed and claps grew less and less enthusiastic, EA sprung back with the latest in one of their showcase franchises; Need For Speed: Shift. Awkward silence due to a glitch in the trailer meant a few minutes of awkwardness and subsequently a restart of said video. We’ve been told that “Need Fer Schpeed: Shift” attempts to capture the emotion and depth involved in real-life racing and bring that into the game, allowing the player a diverse choice of how they can play the game. Different driving styles are based around how you see the game, and the car interiors look like they will add to the immersion. On the negative side, I’ve yet to see what Shift adds to the genre, looking itself like a hybrid between ‘Project Gotham Racing’ and ‘Race Driver: GRID.’ Its rough style of racing and real-life city locations could be what gives this new NFS title the unique identity it needs.
Bioware were the next developer to step up to the plate and present what they have in the works in for Electronic Arts. The first title they announced today was Dragon Age: Origins, which they claim is “the darkest and most mature game [Bioware] have ever created.” If they are including Bioshock in this then I am personally quite surprised. They also display the choices that can be made in the game, emphasizing the reactions that happen to them and how faint the line between right and wrong becomes in the world. This seems quite similar to the Witcher to me, except with actual appealing gameplay. The storyline is also similar in concept to The Witcher, seeing the human race at threat by a dark, disorganized horde of monsters. A conventional idea, and hopefully it will be built upon by the narrative masters at Bioware. The angry metal music supporting the trailer, combined with the brutal art-style and hot chicks leads me to want to give Dragon Age: Origins the more accurate title of “Bikinis and Barbarians”.
Mass Effect 2, after the critical praise the previous title received, is a hotly anticipated title. Luckily, nobody was disappointed when Bioware started discussing this latest entry in their fantastic RPG series. A new trailer was shown which sets the storyline, which can be best summed up as “Assemble a team of the most deadly soldiers to go on a suicide mission.” I for one am highly excited by the sequel to Mass Effect, but this all sounds a bit too Armageddon-y doesn’t it? After we were told that the game would release simultaneously on both Xbox 360 and PC in early 2010, we were rewarded with a trailer – showcasing narrative, graphics and gameplay. Mass Effect 2 looks brilliant; from the improved upon game engine and graphics (better effects such as depth of field and anti-aliasing) that go hand in hand with smooth frame-rates and not an instance of pop-in throughout. We also found out that a number of cast members return, including (obviously) the voice of Shepard, as well as guest star Seth Green. One last bit of narrative we could derive from the presentation relates to the original teaser we saw way back, suggesting that Shepard had died. While he returns as the protagonist, he is presumed to be dead by some other characters leading me to suspect his death was faked for one reason or another. Overall an exciting lineup from Bioware, and an increasingly promising conference from EA.
Introducing the EA Sports titles was a montage of all the EA showcase titles, followed by Peter Moore – who started his time onstage with Fight Night: Round 4, another hotly anticipated title in the works by EA. Moore attempts to showcase the new visual and gameplay standard set by the latest Fight Night title and how it improves upon it’s predecessor, including reminders of the physics-based engine and 60FPS frame rate (compared to FNR3s 30FPS). We are also reminded of a few other tidbits we already knew to prep us for launch, such as the importance of height, reach and power. If the videos and demos we’ve so far seen are anything to go by, Fight Night: Round 4 is going to pack a huge punch that aims to land June 25th.
After a number of games we were all expecting, all of a sudden we hear EA MMA. Very little was revealed apart from a logo but apparently it’s “well into development” meaning UFC Undisputed 2009 may have a worthy rival in the very close future. The simple, no-license title leads me to think that MMA will try some new ideas with the so-far little exploited MMA videogame market which has already been dominated by THQs commercially and critically successful efforts and this new venture may reinvent the already rough wheel of MMA gaming much the same way Skate did for the skateboarding genre.
EA next returned to their love affair with the Nintendo Wii with a discussion that included a load of jibba jabba regarding expanding audiences and telling everyone that videogames aren’t so evil after all. Bless. It soon became apparent that the next 5 minutes of discussion lead by Boobs McCoy was not directed at the average gamer, but rather the average person on the street as we hear not announcements – but self-indulgent talk of sales and interviews with people whose lives were “changed” by the fitness title.
To finish their Sports and Wii titles, EA talked about another upcoming title, Grand Slam Tennis. It is one of the first sports titles to take advantage of Nintendo’s new MotionPlus, which isn’t very noticeable in the demo we see played on stage (it looks more like waggle defined controls). It is also revealed how much of a big fan Pete Sampras’ wallet is of the game, as he makes an appearance to the surprise of, yet simultaneously very little interest on, the audience’s behalf.
And now the shot really gets started...
Saboteur wasn’t on my gaming radar (ga-dar? no, probably not) at all previously, so I was pleasantly surprised when I saw it at EA’s Press Conference. After a brief CGI trailer, we were greeted with live gameplay. Set during WW2 in Paris, you play as a saboteur (well, duh) who carries out covert operations against Nazi occupation. Saboteur presents an open world in which you can climb anything and go about your missions however you wish. The game looks stylistically like a WW2 Sin City, with black and white graphics punctuated by streaks of colour – gradually returned to the world throughout the game representing success against the oppressive Nazi regime. Gameplay-wise it looks like Assassins Creed meets Mercenaries which should come as little surprise seeing as it comes from Mercenaries developer, Pandemic. The animations look fantastically smooth and it looks like it may be another 09 title to work its way onto my must-buy list.
You know the show’s really getting started when you see a legend such as Tim Schafer waddling towards the stage. Brutal Legend contains 50% originality and 110% pure metal power (the numbers don’t add up, but seriously — do they need to?) and aims to kick arse globally in October. We were shown two trailers, focusing primarily on the impressive cast list as well as mentioning soundtrack full of metal classics. Vocal talents come from some of the biggest names in metal with Motorhead’s Lemmy, Lita Ford, Rob Halford and Ozzy Osbourne proving that Brutal Legend is pure metal. METAL, IT COMES FROM HELL!
Very little was revealed about Crysis 2 by Crytek’s Cevat Yerli outside of confirming speculation of multiplatform release (360, PS3, PC) which was suspected after we heard that the latest incarnation of their engine had been ported to consoles. The four main factors Yerli described in development of Crysis 2 were “Setting, Story, A.I. and Combat.” While little was mentioned now, apparently more will be revealed later in the year.
It’s been a while since we last heard about RealTimeWorlds’ next project, APB, so it was a nice surprise when we got to see an update on the console MMO. An online city filled with independent NPCs who provide the setting with life and activity forms the backdrop to a game in which you are tasked with making money fast. You may do this by abiding by the code of good and keeping peace and order amongst the citizens of the town, or you can make money even faster by wreaking havoc against those who seek to enforce the law. Both sides are supported by real life players providing what looks and seemingly plays like an online Grand Theft Auto MMO in many ways. APB looks like a genre-bending title as it gives the communication and scale of an MMO while retaining the gameplay of an action game. This is something which has never been done to such a level of polish or on consoles before.
EA’s 2009 ES Press Conference wrapped up nicely with an update on Bioware’s KOTR MMO spinoff The Old Republic, preceeded by some over-the-top cosplay on the behalf of the developers with the aid of about 20 mock lightsaber wielding extras. They advertise over anything else the amount of time and effort gone into making this a serious contender for the time and money of MMO fans across the Internet providing over 100,000 lines of dialogue and unique voices for each and every NPC you create. The developers went out of their way to claim that The Old Republic has had possibly more voice work put into it than any other game. Each class type has it’s own story within the game and this is modified further depending on your affiliation – Empire or Republic. It is currently in development for the PC.
I hated on reviews last time and I think it’s time to take a step backwards. A step closer to root of the problem. The reason I bought such shitty games as Advent Rising and Spiderman 3. I’m talking about previews. Previews are an essential instrument for video game enthusiasts, but most in their current state need some rethinking. With new franchises I almost completely rely on the previews to determine whether I’m going to purchase the game at release.
It doesn’t matter what is being previewed, the writer has to pretend it’s going to be a great game. At the very least they have to pretend that Barbie’s Island Adventures isn’t going to be a bland romp through trophy wife training school… on an island, probably Hawaii. (Side note: Is that game fictional? I’m not entirely sure it is. Typical of the diversified cock smoking sellout she truly is, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if Mattel lent her likeness to an E rated game that was later ripped off by Drake’s Fortune. In her defense, she has jump started many boys’ puberties with her buxom nippleless bust and vagless crotch.). It’s like saying the best little whorehouse in Texas is the best whorehouse in Texas ever, oblivious to the fact Dolly Parton works there.
I understand the writer is detailing a game they haven’t had the opportunity to play. They are usually critiquing video clips, screen shots, and the word of the developer that the game isn’t going to be the same repackaged bullshit. How can you pass sound judgment on a game simply by looking at a screenshot or gameplay footage? You can’t and by saying, “this screenshot looks incredible,” you’re only validating that the specific still looks good graphically. A good example of this is the upcoming Ghostbusters game.
With no disrespect to the movies, which managed to scare the shit out of me when I was a kid, that game is going to be terrible. I know this because every preview I’ve read, every screen shot I’ve seen, every video I’ve watched, preys on my childhood memories. The game was dropped by Activision for being fiscally infeasible and was later picked up by Atari, a company also guilty of preying on my childhood memories. I’m picking on the Ghostbusters game because contrary to what I’ve read on it, I don’t think it’ll be any good. That’s not to say I’m totally right.
Let’s look at the developers/publishers who have good previews and subsequent reviews of any game they release: Rockstar, Valve, Bethesda, Blizzard, Square Enix, Capcom, Nintendo, Bungie, Epic, etc. That list goes on and on. Fallout 3 is basically Oblivion, no Final Fantasy or Resident Evil has ever been worthy of high praise, Grand Theft Auto IV is a regression of substance and gameplay. Portal is a highly specialized rip-off of Prey. What I’m trying to say is this, we all yield concessions to the publishers and developers associated with our personal definition of quality.
I’m certainly not saying the publishers/developers I’ve mentioned are encompassed in my definition of quality. They are however associated with someone else’s’ and because of that, they get good previews and reviews from the corporate sources who exist because they sate rabid fans. It’s not just the well known publishers/developers that get rave preview response. Looking at my previous point. The preview is usually based on what the developer says the game will be like. If the PR person for your company comes out and says the game you are working on is going to be terrible, they should be drug behind a beat up pickup truck in true Alabama fashion.
I don’t totally agree with the man but he did propose a valid argument. Video games are the only media that have comprehensive previews years before the product is finished. With movies you get teasers, then trailers, then the final product is released. Rarely do you see a teaser more than a year in advance. Music has an announcement, then it goes to radio(the exhibition of the final product.) Radio is for music like art galleries are for paintings. Video games on the other hand have outsiders telling you what your game will be like well before they’ve had a chance to play it.
Dennis made his argument referring to the slight ire Too Human received after a poor showing at E3. Just in case you’re a newcomer to video games and have absolutely no idea how the industry works, developers stymie game production months in advance to prepare something specific and grandiose to showcase at E3. E3 is every year, meaning there’s roughly a year of lost production time in the game’s development cycle simply to prepare for the annual expo. Of course Dyack’s proposal is invalidated because I knew Too Human wasn’t going to live up to the hype. I could smell the sour salty fragrance of failure coming years in advance. I can read between the lines of the previews.
It was announced shortly before Eternal Darkness, which was on the Gamecube, when Silicon Knights was still owned by Nintendo. When they were sold, it was announced on the Xbox, and then the Xbox 360, when it was still called the Next Xbox. Then almost 3 years into the console’s life it was finally released. Something to make note of is this; when a game takes more than 5 years to make, it probably isn’t going to be game of the year, look at Dark Sector.
Previews are good to an extent. They should be brutally honest. Don’t say “based on these screen shots and this footage this game will be totally tits.” Are kids these days still using the word “tits” like that? If you’ve played an early version of the game, state the shortcomings and then defend them by saying “it’s not the finished product.” As a journalist you owe it to your readers to present the accurate and vaguely subjective point of view that they as normal folk can’t get. Good day!
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Xbox rips off the Wii? Sony hot on their tail? Dumb ass brings gun to trade for a PSP? What the hell is going on in this world we live in? It’s sad that these are all things happening right now in the gaming community. Check it!
Links to Topics Discussed:
2. Dumb ass brings gun to school for a PSP
3. Stupid people say 8.5% of kids are “Pathological Gamers”
4. Madden Ma-Ma-Madden gets sued
5. Nintendo doesn’t pay up unless you buy a lot!
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Major Nelson managed to get a new podcast up yesterday, wherein he devoted a good portion of time to Xbox LIVE policies regarding TOS, acceptable language, and the recent visit paid to the Xbox offices by GLAAD.
Gay Gamer reports that Stephen Toulouse, who polices the Xbox LIVE community, had this to say:
“I can’t talk about what we discussed specifically except to say that we provided them with a lot of information about what we do today, why we do what we do and how we do it. And then we asked them the question, ‘How can we do this better?’ And we have some ideas. Here are some ideas. That dialog was super, super helpful. I think it was a great engagement. Justin and Jeffrey who came out from GLAAD really appreciated the effort that we’re putting into it – and had great ideas, like they brought up some stuff we hadn’t thought of.
I would recommend to any business who’s tackling these issues, they’re a great group to work with. The GLAAD folk totally understand a variety of things, they’re really great to work with. They want to enable communities to be safer. They just want to enable communities to be safer – that’s what my team tries to do as well, so it was a great thing.
We’ll plan to say something about [GLAAD and Xbox LIVE policy] in the future.”
It really seems as though Toulouse and Major Nelson are all for making the community safer for everyone and discrimination free. With any luck, they’ll do a better job of controlling the community in the future.
Anyone else out there ready to have Xbox start cracking down on immature/rude/idiotic people on Xbox LIVE?
Let’s face it, being a band geek and a gamer tends to go hand-in-hand. Let’s take a cross section of the staff here. I am a percussionist (a technical term for “I hit shit and make loud noises”). Blake and Caleb, both started on trumpet and then graduated to tuba. Ammon is a pianist and pretty damn good at it (aww… I’m being nice). Ross played cello in high school. Andy, well he plays the bassoon (click here to see WTF that is). And last but not least, the other Evil Head Honcho, Cory, well he started out on Clarinet. Yes Clarinet, but luckily for all of us ladies out there, he found his manhood and picked up a real man’s instrument, the tuba. Thought I was going to say the trombone, didn’t ya? No boner jokes here. We like to keep it a little classy. Needless to say, when I heard about a concert of all video game music two summers ago, I freaked out and promptly bought tickets.
Just a little background on the concert series. It is the lovechild of Tommy Tallarico (Earthworm Jim, Prince of Persia, Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater, Advent Rising, and a bunch of others) and Jack Wall (Myst, Splinter Cell, Jade Empire, and my favorite, Mass Effect). These video game music gods teamed up to bring us, what I consider, the best concert experience possible.
This is a concert event put on by the video game industry to help encourage and support the culture and art that video games have become. Video Games Live™ bridges a gap for entertainment by exposing new generations of music lovers and fans to the symphonic orchestral experience while also providing a completely new and unique experience for families and/or non-gamers. ~VGL
The concerts aren’t just the normal orchestra concert where you have to sit quietly and listen. VGL gives you a full experience employing video and lighting affects to capture the audience’s attention. Take a look at the trailer. Even though it’s a bit old, it’s still awesome.
Video game music tends to be ignored in the world of the realistic video game. Gamers always talk about the realistic graphics and story, but forget that the music really lends to the full experience of the game. You can’t honestly tell me that you can’t recognize many of the classic games that we all played by a small snippet of the song.
Tallarico and Wall take the music to a whole new level. They rearranged many of our favorites into suites (i.e. The Halo Suite, the Mario Suite, the MGS Suite) to be played by an orchestra, sometimes with the accompaniment of a choir and instruments normally not found in an orchestra. And these aren’t your normal rinky-dink arrangements made for a high school band somewhere. Sometimes, they’re even better than the original arrangements. What is really cool is the cooperation that you see from the game companies and composers themselves. Though some companies (*cough* Square Enix *cough*) are total bastards about it and if it weren’t for the composers or evil incarnate, Disney, music from Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts couldn’t be included.
Over 50 different segments were created for VGL, so just because you went once, doesn’t mean you heard everything. Here’s a short list of the music that’s included:
Mario™, Zelda®, Halo®, Final Fantasy®, Warcraft®, StarCraft® II, Sonic™, Metal Gear Solid®, Kingdom Hearts, Chrono Cross™, Myst®, Tron, Castlevania®, Metroid®, Interactive Frogger, Interactive Space Invaders, Interactive Guitar Hero™, Diablo® III, Medal of Honor™, God of War™, BioShock™, Civilization IV, Tomb Raider®, Beyond Good & Evil™, Advent Rising, EverQuest® II, Mass Effect™, Crysis®, Monkey Island, Earthworm Jim, Pac-Man, Lair, Conan, Command & Conquer: Red Alert, Headhunter, Splinter Cell®, Ghost Recon™, Rainbow Six®, Jade Empire, Contra, OutRun, Gears of War, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix™, and Classic Arcade Medley featuring over 20+ games from Pong® to Donkey Kong® including such classics as Dragon’s Lair, Tetris, Duck Hunt, Ghosts ‘n Goblins, Gauntlet, Punch-Out, OutRun and MANY MORE!
This isn’t my first time going to a VGL concert. I went back in ‘07 to one in Houston. Let me just say, these concerts are a place to let your freak flag fly. It’s like going to a gaming convention. You see all different types of characters wandering around. Some left me feeling a bit creeped out and others, I was amazed at the amount of time and detail they put into their costumes.
I wish I had that kind of time. While the costume contest is a cool part, what made the concert for me was the fact I was surrounded by thousands of other people who were here because they loved video games and video game music. Since I haven’t had the chance to go to a gaming convention, yet… that experience was new to me. And I must say, except of the occasional lack of personal hygiene, it was awesome. I’m a library school student/librarian by trade, so normally the people I interact with, other than the guys here, don’t play or know anything about video games. That’s not saying I don’t work with some major geeks/nerds, because I do, but most of those people are book geeks. So every once and a while, it’s good to get around your own kind, ones that aren’t going to be shocked that when you go home, you play Gears of War (or something like it) to relax.
First of all, I want to thank my in-laws for the AWESOME birthday presents! The tickets were great, Donna and Mark! Thanks alot! And for all you gamers out there, if you haven’t gone to one of these, check out the Video Games Live website to see if there is one coming to a city near you and GO!!! Even if you have family that are not gamers, they will enjoy this, so take them too! And now, please enjoy the Halo Suite from VGL.
I caused some tetchiness when I said I hate PC gamers. Imagine that, PC gamers owning a computer, having internet access, and believing they can make a difference from their keyboard. As a caveat, let me explain my creative process. I rarely write my biweekly editorial more than a couple of hours prior to posting it. The only reason it takes a couple of hours is because I write it, let it sit for a little bit, then come back and edit it with what I hope is heightened detachment. After I post it, I walk away. I used to take my time and write it over the span of a few days, then meticulously try to respond to each comment. I quickly learned how much of a colossal waste of time that is. These days I don’t reedit it. I don’t reread it, and I sure as hell don’t read the comments. I don’t give a fuck what is said in retaliation. I wasn’t surprised when my editor told me I caused a shit storm from the dust bowl of retards that is the internet. However, I was actually surprised that he actually told me though.
Breaking routine, I read through some of the comments and immediately thought I should write a disclaimer to reference in future posts. Something that states “the opinions of Jimmy the Greek do not represent those of Games Are Evil … this is for entertainment purposes only and should not be taken literally … any literary argument in validation is strictly intended … frequent masturbation and ass shoving references … strong language… suck my balls like they’re ice cubes… etc.” Then I thought better of it. If you are so easily offended by someone else’s opinion, that is a problem with you. The very concept of hatred is based on ignorance and prejudice. If you don’t already know that, I hate you.
Cinema, theater, music, and art proponents, in general, believe their medium is the absolute best. Let’s get this out of the way as painlessly as possible: video games are a form of art. There is emotional expression, detachment from reality or momentary diversion, visual style, controls, score, etc. Many small parts combined to create a greater whole. Touching on set theory, we can say that if everything in the set shares a common characteristic, that is a characteristic of the set. Now we know video games are art. With all art there are devout supporters, extremists, or fanboys.
Most supporters are just that, simple supporters. They spend money on what they like as a testament to what they believe is good or exceptional. There are always people who take it too far. For example, bacon is delicious, mayonnaise is delicious, and together on a Monster burger from Hardee’s is delicious. Now, is there anybody out there who found it necessary to make baconnaise? If you said yes, you must be extremely overweight and have taken something too far.
There are the assholes you encounter in online games. The hapless douche bags who take an entire week off work to set up camp outside of a video game store and be the first person to… I’m not so sure what they’re going to be the first person doing. It’s not playing the game, maybe it’s getting bed sores from sitting in a lawn chair outside of a respected place of business. The same people type of people who made baconnaise and I’ve talked about with such affectionate hatred.
I’ve tread this water before. If at any time you ask yourself, “have I took it too far?” You have taken it too far. On several occasions I have proclaimed my disgust for holding something so sacred you get unreasonably pissed when somebody justifiably doesn’t like it. I’ve been called a troll and for clarification, you apparently don’t know what a troll is douche bag. A troll is someone who posts contrary material in forums and in comments purposely to insight outrage from the participants. Notice the emphasis. I write offensive material for a website in a reoccurring editorial based solely on my general detestation. At best, that makes me a rabble-rouser. Unless you are referring to me as a beastly man who hides under bridges waiting to gobble up children as they cross on their way to grandma’s, to you I say, thank you.
Let’s sum this section up with a proclamation. The gamers are what I hate the most about video games, 99% of you give the rest of us a bad name.
I have to reference Aladdin with something Jafar said when speaking about the only person who could enter the Cave of Wonders, “the diamond in the rough.” I know what you’re thinking, “Aladdin? Pansy.” Well I also watched Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, Bambi, Dumbo, etc. I think maybe you had an abusive childhood of which you won’t remember until you sit in a psychiatrists office. Don’t worry, with the assistance of psychotropic pharmaceuticals and hypnosis, you’ll remember why you hate your father so much. Back to my point… Jafar’s statement is applicable to video games, specifically to good games.
When purchasing a game you have to sift through fields of shit to find that illusive jewel. A truly exceptional game comes along at most once a year. Even the most critically acclaimed games are just slightly discolored turds in a sea of diarrhea. A good game is something you can play over and over again. You play the main mission time and time again. If it has online offerings, they’re an enjoyable experience even if it is mostly repetitive. It doesn’t have to have the best graphics or deepest story. These days you spend $60, or $50 for the PC gaming fags, on at most, a 20 hour main story and online multiplayer that is just variations of death match, flag, and king of the hill. Within a year it’s shelved and you’re left wanting something new. Of course you could wait a little while for a game to drop in price but as one person stated with my PC Gaming article, “I have a sick infatuation with playing new games.” What a schmuck…
Developers are constantly coming up with new ways to milk just a little more money out of the consumer. They raised the price of games from last generation to this one. For the most part I have no problem with that. Games, much like movies, are better now than they’ve ever been. They could’ve raised the price of games without giving me the slightest explanation and I would’ve just understood. They could have called it inflation, a gamer tax, or come up with some excuse like an abused spouse, and it would have been okay. However, they tried to justify it as increased development costs. That’s where I say, “what the fuck?”
Games have always been expensive to make and you don’t have to license the Unreal and Havoks engine to make a good game. Shit, I can tell right away if a game uses either because of the bright sheen that even the dirtiest rock has, or the comical fall of so many bodies implementing poor rag doll physics. Look at the casual games that make money hand-over-fist on good concepts. You can’t tell me that tits have to bounce perfectly, or clothes have to billow in the wind to justify an extra $10 per game. Go ahead and tell me that.
Now I say look at the copious amount of in game advertisements. I don’t want to see real cars licensed for a game. More developers should get creative and design new cars. I don’t want to see Burger King advertisements. I certainly don’t want current manufacturers to display billboards in futuristic or alternate reality cities. If it makes the game cheaper, then I’m all for it, but if the game stays the same price I’m not going to buy the motherfucker.
EvilCast Recap, Episode #22
War in the North REALLY Teases 2011 Release
Frehley, Underwood, and X ready to rock your band
Sonic Is Now Holding SackBoy Hostage With These Awesome LBP Costumes
Time For Those Terrible Pirate Accents To Rule The Free Realms Seas
Gamer’s Manifesto: Put a Little MUD in my Games
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