Sometimes you just have to sit back and be thankful for indie devs. With the cost of game development as high as it is now, most of the cool new ideas aren’t coming from the big publisher houses anymore. Leave it to ACE Team (creators of Zeno Clash) to come up with something as wacky, original, and hysterically funny as Rock of Ages.
Game: Rock of Ages
Publisher: Atlus
Developer: ACE Team
Genre: Arcade RTS
Price: 800 MS Points
Pros: Downhill ball-rolling/RTS hybrid with a hysterical sense of humor
Cons: Wonky camera, overly-sensitive cursor movement in RTS mode
Verdict: Incredibly entertaining, especially for Monkey Ball fans. Absolutely worth playing.
Acquired via Publisher
Rock of Ages is what you get if you throw Super Monkey Ball, Age of Empires, and Kirby’s Dream Course into a blender and spew them out into one juicy, original, and funny as hell little downloadable game. Imagine it as a downhill tower defense, ball smashing, RTS game. Confusing? Let me explain. At its most basic level, Rock of Ages is basically about ramming a rock into fortresses. You and your opponent start at the top of a mountain, each with a rock. Your fortresses are at the bottom of the mountain. You want to roll your rock down the mountain while dodging/smashing all the obstacles in your way, and eventually destroy the door of your opponent’s castle before they do the same to you.
It’s far more complex than Super Monkey Ball on steroids. It takes several runs down the hill to successfully destroy your opponent’s gate and comically squash their leader (did I mention this game is funny?). In between each run down the hill, your people have to chisel a new rock. This can take around 30 seconds. During this time, the game switches to real time strategy mode. You see your side of the mountain in a grid layout. Using a finite amount of funds (which can be replenished by taking the time to smash your rival’s terrain, castles, and forts on the way down the hill) you can spend cash to place obstacles on your route to deter, damage, and destroy your rival’s boulders before they reach your castle. You can use towers to slow momentum, TNT barrels to blast the rock into the air, catapults to fire debris, elephants to push the rocks off the mountain, wind gusts to blow the rock out of control, etc. You can also try to go light on the obstacles and save your cash for enhanced ball types (flaming, spiked, winged, etc). The RTS element is important, because without these obstacles, your rival has a clearer shot at your castle. Whoever is the fastest down the hill and the smartest in obstacle placement is going to win.
The basic setup is pretty brilliant, and it plays fast. All of this is brought together by a comical historical setting, and a combination of 3D terrain and 2D characters littering the field. Starting in the dark ages, you guide your hero throughout history, smashing Greek gods, zombie philosophers, Roman leaders, and all kinds of middle-age debauchery. It’s all tied together by these little 2D story scenes that bumper each stage on the world map. There’s something magically amusing about the combination of classical music and fart noises when you squash the cardboard people. Each is a little snippet of comedy gold, with comical mumble speak for dialog (think Banjo-Kazooie). In particular, watch for the hysterical intro to “The Plague.” There’s even a few classic video game references. The Castlevania nod in particular is a riot.
With all the fun to be had, not everything is perfect. Camera control in Rock of Ages is sluggish and muddy. For a game that requires so many fast turns while navigating up and down hills, the camera can be a pain in the ass, but it’s not game breaking. More annoying is the hypersensitivity of the cursor in RTS mode. The game lays a grid over top of the terrain to simplify obstacle placement. The cursor requires merely a breath on the control stick to move. Worse yet, the D-Pad cannot be used to move about the grid. The whole thing makes moving around the grid in the brief RTS segments a pain in the ass when you’re trying to lay a bunch of trips in 30 seconds. If you’re patient though, these issues can be adjusted to.
Overall, these are minor complaints. Rock of Ages is incredibly enjoyable. With a decent length single-player campaign, enjoyable online (and LOCAL) multiplayer, time trials, and amusing SkeeBoulder modes in the package, there’s no reason you shouldn’t enjoy this awesome little game. Besides, the joy of watching Charlemagne scream like a little girl before you squash him with a 100 ton boulder to a satisfying fart sound is worth the price of admission alone.
GrE Grade: A
Popularity: 2% [?]
