Publisher: Sega
Genre: Fighting
Release Date: January 5, 2010
MSRP: $59.99
Chris Nitz: For those that have not heard, Bayonetta is the action game that is already tearing up reviews overseas. It is like some sort of legalized crack for the folks in Japan, as they can’t seem to get enough of this game. Well, now we get to dip our grubby little hands into the cookie jar to try out the demo. Did I mention this is some form of legal crack?
There are two modes to play this game. Easy has a majority of the combos done by pressing one button. Normal allows more control over all the chaos. Though there might be a learning curve, I HIGHLY recommend playing on normal. Once the combat system has been grasped, the fighting is almost as enjoyable as those special Jamaican brownies mom used to make! I have played the demo through a few times now, and I am still impressed at how simple, yet deeply complex, and satisfying the combat system actually is. This is the first hint at why this game has been so successful overseas.
The game is very colorful and stylized, featuring environments that are highly detailed. It is a shame they are is covered up by the absurd amount of activity taking place on the screen. Enemies will be flying, rings (Sonic the Hedgehog style) will be bouncing from the exploding corpses, and Bayonetta’s hair will be crushing enemies. With all this madness happening onscreen, it’s amazing there is no slowdown what so ever.
The goodness doesn’t stop there. If you dodge an attack at the last moment, Witch Time will be engaged. This slows down everything going on with the exception of Bayonetta. During this limited window, it is the time to unleash the fury of your l33t button mashing skills, to do the most amount of damage as possible. Torture moves are another special feature included in the game. Nothing says good times like kicking the enemy into an Iron Maiden, or jumping on them and pistol whipping them into submission. Bayonetta can even pick up enemy weapons! Yup, she is just as deadly with discarded sidearm as she is with her own follicles.
There is also a lot of digital ass to be had. For one, Bayonetta’s charcoal tresses make up her outfit. Upon completing a combo sequence, her hair will turn into a giant fist or foot to do the finishing work. Fortunate for us, this leaves our sexy hero with just about nothing on but her birthday suit. Cries of misogyny aside (and there will, and should be, some of these), it IS an interesting way to defeat your foes. Right? Right? Come on, can I get an amen?
Thus far there are only two complaints to be had. The first issue is Mr. Annoying Camera Angle making another special appearance. Shitty cameras are an issue that seems to plague games of this variety, and unfortunately this is no exception. My second complaint is that the demo is over before you know it. I don’t know what I am doing here writing to you, I need to go kick some more demon bitches into some Iron Maidens.
Scott Meador: Hey kids! Do you like action? Do you like blood? Lets not forget about breasts and partial nudity? How about humor, insanity, guns, giant swords, over the top graphics, and … librarians? Well then, Bayonetta might be the game for you. Actually, it’s quickly becoming the game for ME too.
Bayonetta is a game brought to us by the fine folks at SEGA and Platinum games. This is from the same team that brought us Mad World on the Nintendo Wii earlier this year. That being said, it is no surprise that this game is chock full of blood and very stylized action. You play the title character “Bayonetta”, who is witch, but not that kind of Halloween witch with the wart on her face, hunched over a cauldron, “stirring, and stirring, and stirring her brew.” Oh no, she is far from it. For lack of a better word, she is hot. Very reminiscent of that good looking teacher that you had in high school that wore outfits just a tad to tight. The difference being that Bayonetta is teaching you how to kill… angels (apparently). Not much, if any of the story is really covered in the demo.
You go around killing everyone and and everything that gets in your way with the strangest combination of weapons in recent memory, guns on your feet, and oh yeah, your hair. Bayonetta is literally covered in hair. Not like Chewbacca, this hair is very snug and accentuates every curve of her body. I am guessing that in the full version of the game we will find out exactly how she came to have hair that can best be described as “possessed.”
Things starts off with a short training session, then throws you on a clock tower that seems to be falling through the abyss. You are fighting off a slew of these angelic enemies, and collecting their halos… seriously. At her disposal are a wide range of combos using her guns, spells, and possessed hair. Get a long enough combo string for instance, and a giant high heeled foot will spring forth out of thin air and smash her foes to a bloody pulp. Different combos produce different types of “hair weapons” that she can use. Near end of the demo, I was even able to summon some giant hair-beast-demon-thing that literally ate the huge enemy I was fighting in one bite. Spells usually consist of torture devices that are not only visually stunning, but also most of the time an instantly kill. You can even procure your own weapons from enemies when they die. Swords, pikes, and even giant axes can all be used against the oncoming horde.
I was laughing to myself after playing the game, wondering how many eleventeen year olds will be watching this game very intensely, hoping to catch a glimpse of some choice side boobage. There were a couple times when I was watching a cut scene thinking in the back of my head, “did I just see the new girls ass?” After only being able to play through two very short and very different stages, I can’t say this game is a “must buy”, but it will definitely be a game that is on my radar. Watch for it, this one could be a big release. Notice I strayed away from the “hair today gone tomorrow” line…
The official Bayonetta demo will be available on December 3, 2009. Want to do something more entertaining than watching some parade on Thursday? Leave us a comment attached to this post and you just might find a code to download the demo (360 only, sorry PS3ers) appearing in your inbox.
Look for Bayonetta on the PS3 and 360 January 5, 2010. After playing this demo over, and over, and over, and over again, it is on my must have release day list.
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