Microsoft “Discontinuing 360 in 2010″

srawberryjam

[Editor’s Note: HELLOOOO Kotaku Readers! Now that April Fool’s Day has passed and our diabolical plan to finally get linked to by Kotaku has succeeded, feel free to check out some of the QUALITY content we have on tap. MWAHAHA!]

In an “off-the-record” interview yesterday afternoon with a Microsoft spokesperson, GamesAreEvil revealed information they were apparently intending on keeping under wraps until next December. In a surprising turn, Microsoft is deciding to call it a day as the per-console losses have reached an “irreversible” level due to the current economic circumstances and the most logical direction to next take is to count their losses and withdraw from the console market leaving Sony, Nintendo and Swedish industry newcomer Prillaoof Ericsson.

Spokesperson Ron McDonal had this to say:

After a tough couple of years of pretty-decent exclusives and a lead in the console market, It only makes sense to shut down the Xbox brand and reinvest our efforts into more profitable business sectors.

Apparently that’s not all, as Ron had more to say about how the Xbox brand will live on in years to come;

We do not intend on making this another “Original Xbox” incident, where millions of fans are left in the dark after supporting us. The Xbox brand will live on, in a new brand of strawberry conserves due to hit stores the following April. The mistaken leak yesterday of new console mockups were actually designs of new containers for our jammy product, and we are sorry for any misinterpretation. Those who purchased an Xbox 360 will be urged at a later date to contact us for an address that they will be able to send their Xbox 360, their own address and their body weight in Kilograms. You should then receive, in 10-15 days, your own weight in Strawberry Preserve. Tasty!

How do you feel about this announcement? Are you a 360 owner who can’t get enough of strawberries? Disgruntled as you’re more of a raspberry person? Or a PS3 fanboy slowly rubbing your hands together whispering “Excellent”?

Give us your views in the comments section!

18 comments

  1. HA. Terrible April Fools joke…lol

  2. vangus /

    nice try ;-)

  3. SYWOLF /

    FAIL

  4. unbad /

    I love this website, you dudes rock balls

  5. I see Games Are Evil is living up to its badassery this April Fool's Day. Strawberry preserves though? WTF? :-)

  6. Smitty /

    Haha we could only dream of such things. lol

  7. yonker /

    Eastenders? we don't watch that british crap here!!

  8. elveter /

    Xplode360 must DIE!!!!

  9. We are so bad ass that we can even pull that off!

  10. ……….I started into tears b4 I read the comments T.T……..although the last bit about the strawberry preserves was bit of a stretch.

  11. Dirk /

    It sounds like an April 1st kind of statement or this guy is the biggest idiot Microshaft has working for them.

  12. Strawberry what?

  13. Of course not, you watch quality shows like American Idol, Passions and Cheaters.

  14. Advantage: Spolodaface

  15. Jam, innit ;)

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