Welcome to the Dammit Game of the Week! I’ll be your host on this time wasting trip, so please enjoy. What the hell is a Dammit Game, you ask. Good question… A Dammit Game is a on-line flash game that seemingly sucks away hours without you even knowing it. Finally, you’ll look at your watch and say “Dammit… I wasted (insert an obscenely large amount of time here) on this stupid game.” Because I have been deemed the one who spends an unhealthy amount of the time on the internet (and I get paid for it), I get the job of finding you games to waste your time on. I’ll try to keep these work friendly… but you never know… one might slip through the cracks.
This week’s Dammit Game of the Week is Totem Destroyer by Gabriel Ochsenhofer and Armor Games. Don’t let the name fool you. You’re not going around trying to destroy totems as the name alludes to (you know, the tiki men with the animal heads). Really, you’re trying to keep the little naked golden man from cracking his little golden head on the ground. Sounds easy, right? Well… just you wait… Physics always wins. Damn you gravity!
The controls are very simple: Left click on the rectangles to “blow” them up. You only have to deal with three types of rectangles in this version of the game (Totem Destroyer 2 has alot more). The brown ones are normal, you can blow them up easily. The green ones can also be blown up, but they are rubber, so if another piece lands on one or the idol does, it’s going to bounce. Finally, the black pieces are what you really want to get the idol to land on. You cannot blow these up.
There are 25 levels to balance your way through. Each has it’s own unique shape and quirks. Just because you clicked on a box and the “totem” fell one way, doesn’t mean it’s always going to do that. It can be frustrating as you get higher up in the levels, but really, you can’t let a little ol’ flash game like this beat you. Or a girl for that matter… I beat it. Now, for all of you pansies out there, there are cheats and walkthroughs. You’ll have to find them yourselves. Oh and for the achievement whore, *cough* Blake *cough*, there are achievements. Ten of them in fact. See if you can get them all. Enjoy everyone… and try not to swear too loud when you get stuck. The boss might notice then.
If you have any games you want me to take a look at, comment with the game’s name and I’ll get to wasting my time.
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