From the Department of Redundancy Department: F-I-R-E!

Here we have a story about a man, a Rock Band USB hub, and a big ‘ole four alarm F-I-R-E. That’s right, Rock Band tried to burn his house down. (That won’t stop us from playing it, though) As extraordinary as that story is, it gets even more kooky when Jim sends EA Customer Service an E-mail…

Jim to EA;

My Rock Band 4-port USB hub started a small electrical fire. It was being used as it was intended. It had four instruments plugged in for about ten minutes and was connected to both the AC-adapter and the Xbox 360.

I would like to see it replaced. I would also like to know what EA intends to do about this, as clearly there is a serious safety hazard involved with the USB hub included with Rock Band.

Pretty straight forward and to the point, right?  Here’s the reply;

EA to Jim;

Hello Jim,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us regarding your Rock Band
purchase. It is always a pleasure to assist our customers in any way that we
can.

The USB Hub comes with 4 USB ports that the peripherals can be plugged
into. Check to see if the customer has plugged the AC Power Adaptor into the USB
Hub and a wall outlet in order to provide power to the USB Hub. Power Down Xbox 360, and unplug everything, but the USB Hub, AC Adapter. Plug in One Peripheral to a port on the USB Hub. Turn on the Xbox 360 to see if it is working. If the problem still persists follow these steps.

1) Power down the Xbox 360
2) Plug the AC Adaptor into another wall outlet.
3) Plug in a working peripheral into a separate USB port on the USB Hub
4) Turn on the Xbox 360 to see if it is working.

If the problem is continues try a final step.

1) Power down the Xbox 360
2) Unplug the USB Hub from the Xbox 360 and plug it into the other USB port
on the Xbox 360.
3) Plug in a working peripheral.
4) Turn on the Xbox 360 to see if it is working.

If there is anything further that we can do for you, please don’t hesitate
in contacting us. Additional support can be found on our help site located
at http://support.ea.com/cgi-bin/ea.cfg/php/enduser/rockband.php.

Sincerely,

Sonam,
Rock Band Support
Electronic Arts.

And that’s just the beginning. Jim gets the automated treatment twice, resulting in this Internet-winning response.

Jim to EA

THERE WAS A FIRE. YOUR PRODUCT STARTED A FIRE. I DO NOT NEED AN AUTOMATED
WARRANTY REPLACEMENT. I NEED TO SPEAK WITH SOMEONE WHO WILL ADDRESS THIS
ISSUE.

FIRE = BAD.
YOU = UNAWARE OF FIRE.

It’s that glowy orange stuff. If you touch it, you die. Understand?
F-I-R-E.

I’m not trying to be demeaning here, but your product started a fire and so
far you have brushed me off twice. That is so far beyond unacceptable that
you’d need a rocket just to get there. Please address the situation or
provide me with the contact information of someone who will.

Of course, there are always those hardware issues you never want to tell anyone, like how you broke your PS2’s right analog stick getting away from El Gigante in Resident Evil 4. While these stories are entertaining, they also serve as a warning to those foolish enough to replicate a friend’s actions. Trust me, Komputer Kontroller isn’t worth the R2 button you ripped off the controller during play.

While extremely humorous, this story points to a more disturbing truth: Customer Service sometimes doesn’t serve. When I sent my Rock Band drum pads in for repair of the Red pad, they sent it back with a broken Green pad. Not to diss EA, but when I needed them to replace my Rock Band drum kit for the 2nd time they sent the box, and it was stopped in its tracks by UPS, and checked for ‘possible terrorist activity’ or something. Still haven’t received the box, and I don’t need it now, as I gave up on EA and decided to splurge on a new set.  We’ve all had our share of customer service horror, and we’d like you to share yours with us.

Leave us your story in the comments.

[Thanks to ClosetGeekShow for the tip]

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Student by day, Gamer by mid-afternoon, Gabriel is a rhythm gaming juggernaut. His career scores in Guitar Hero and Rock Band games have been ranked in the upper echelon of the Xbox Live Leaderboards. He's here writing for Games Are Evil to further the knowledgement of the human consciousness.