(WiiWare) Defend Your Castle: Reviewed and Adored
First and foremost, a disclaimer: I’m very easily amused. There, I feel better having shared that with you. On with the reviewing.
Defend Your Castle appears to have been created by my second grader (actually put out by XGen Studios). The WiiWare version is similar in plot as it’s online counterpart but with different graphics (as in: far more interesting to look at). The “Barbarians” that attack your cardboard castle are mere stick figures with buttons for heads. When they come running over the hill to pound your flimsy abode to the ground it is expected you will pick them up and flick them with your ever-powerful plastic bread tie.
No, I am not kidding. The paper cut out clouds float by in the sky with the aid of yarn as you send the barbarians, one by one, sailing through the heavens and back down to the ground where they splatter and die. It’s really just that simple.
Of course, as you acquire points (displayed as playing cards) you can use them to fortify and repair those cardboard walls. As the number of invaders increases, their arsenal also becomes more robust. Suddenly, they become armed with battering rams (Popsicle sticks) and cap-gun ammunition they roll toward your sanctuary with evil intents. They also have friends with soda cap heads that require more than a casual flicking and become armed with a catapult.
Have no fear, though, there’s help on the way. Utilizing your points earned from killing off your foes you can also purchase a blue paint can the Pit of Conversion. By simply dropping an offender into the can they become converted into a soldier for your cause. You’ll need to purchase camps to place in your turrets, each with a specialty. Turn your new converts into a stone masons, demolition experts, bowmen or a wizard to help you win the battle for your domain. How many specialties you purchase and how you utilize your soldiers within them does make a difference.
Sidenote: I’m pretty sure playing this game for extended periods of time is impossible since you are repeating the same motion rapidly the entire time. (Editor’s sidenote: That sentence has so much innuendo, I’m not touching it.)
Also noteworthy: other players are able to jump in and out of the game as they so desire without having to start over. This will result in an increase of barbarians.
The Verdict? All in all, the $5 (500 WiiPoint) price point is entirely worth it.





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Excellent Review, Jill. I totally want to play this game now. If only I had a Wii!
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