Brought JC Penny to our town.
I think it only fair that I explain this ridiculous name. It is deeply rooted into my gaming consciousness. I grew up near a mall that had something wonderful. This wonder was 2 separate and complete arcades. Considering that the mall was not too large, this was an accomplishment.
Children begging for tokens not shown
I spent a lot (too much?) of time and money in that mall and especially in the arcades. Mall rat was definitely a term that could be used to describe me. By the time I was working for the Chic-Fil-A in the mall, my friends and I already knew the lay out of all of those weird exit doors you see throughout your local malls. They were known as short cuts.
What lies beyond? Here is a hint....Spencers.
When I was in middle school I began my weekly ritual of going to that mall and hanging out there until closing time. Normally two slices of Italian Village Pizza (thick, not that thin stuff) and some sort of cookie would be consumed through the course of the night. Washed down sometimes by a cherry slushee which I would let melt and then perform a move I liked to think of as, “vomiting blood” (hey I loved Gene Simmons). I liked to do this in front of people, for reaction. It did not look like blood, just melted slushee.
"...sadly the band played on not realizing this time was for real...."
Most of that time was spent in the wonderful arcades. The excitement felt when the change machine would give out your tokens combined the mixture of voices, sound effects, game songs, and shouting really made you feel home. The sight of the sleaze bag arcade manager with his slicked back curly hair, meant that you better hope that the games are being nice and accepting the tokens. Otherwise good luck seeing him again because he was hiding in the office with some underage girl just daring the police to prove our theories of his antics.
Where does Cindy get all the tokens to play Hard Drivin'?
In one of the arcades was an additional attraction. This was strategically placed by the front entrance to lure small children and their unsuspecting parents into the den of electronic mayhem. I think this was to guarantee the next generation of players. What was this delight? Was it a chicken that rotated and laid a plastic egg? Was it a crane game for candy? Sorry, none of the above.
"Ol' Jack always says, what the hell?"
It was a Fanky Malloon. This beast was a helium balloon vending machine. Now it did more than fill helium balloons for excited children. It also put on a sadistic show for anyone watching. You see helium balloon filling may not be an exact art or that monster liked to make children cry. I would say on a good day the Malloon worked at about a 50% accuracy rate. The other half of the time, there would be a loud pop followed by crying.
Harmless vending machine or emotional terrorist?
Now I realize that this may something about me that I have taken the name of a machine that made kids cry, but that was over 20 years ago. Crying kids is not my idea of a good time. I think I like the name today because it is so odd, it sounds like it could be a real name, I liked to inhale helium, and especially the memories I have of those arcade experiences. Today’s consoles have the best games to date. There is something for everyone, but a part of me feels bad that the future generations won’t know what it was like in those arcades back when. Online is great, but something has been lost.
POP!
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