Welcome to our first in a series of Top 10 lists hitting your noggins every Friday. While the idea is far from original, we think the list itself is pure hilarity. And in the spirit of Retro, we pose this question: “If a game console is turned on, and a game is inside to be played, is the console truly dead?”
1. Playing X-Com Ufo Defense (PS1) for over 24 hours and the memory card fries itself
- Lester failed to realize his weight meant the Reapers would surely kill him
2. Chronotrigger (SNES), forcing a friend and I in college to play it for days on end in rotating shifts – and not shifts for class, but for sleep!
- “WASN’T EASY!”
3. Baseball Stars on the NES liked to erase save files, to make friends not trust each other
- The options were endless….for paranoia
4. Fire Pro D (Dreamcast) import only had menus in Japanese. It’s not fun customizing for over an hour and losing all your work, to get the Berzerker to kick people out of the ring and then “Huss” over and over again
- How did this idea fail?
5. Nintendo Ice Hockey (NES) is not meant to be wagered on, yet my friends did this in college and owed large sums of money to each other. These debts were ultimately repaid in acts of public humiliation, like “…drink the chocolate milk full of salt, Turner, to work off $20.”
- Now imagine half of this is a mineral
6. Playing Perfect Dark (N64) for so long that you know exactly how many n-bombs kill an enemy and having nightmares about the little “Sectoids”
- …and keep in mind the little creeps taste great with a number of dipping sauces
7. Pit Fighter (Arcade)…I had friends that loved this. I now know why they also enjoyed discipline so much.
- For some reason I associate this picture with the word “donkey”
8. In the spirit of the Olympic Games and Atari 800 and Commodore 64, The “Track and Field Blister”
- “Failed to Qualify”
9. They have made an inside joke out of up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A….
- No matter how many times I have tried on an ATM, I do not get an extra $30
10. “Super Mario World: The Drinking Game” played with 100 proof Southern Comfort + sled riding = danger
- Somehow Rich did not see this coming, I wonder why?
Got any of your own?
*Dave Hatfield, aka The Fanky Malloon, is the evil genius behind Games Are Evil’s Retro section.
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